2nd Amendment to the Constitution of The United States of America

A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

"I ask sir, what is the militia? It is the whole people except for a few politicians."
- George Mason (father of the Bill of Rights and The Virginia Declaration of Rights)

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Pirates are not that cool...they suck..

Generally speaking, when you ask the common person on the street about pirates these days chances are this is what's going through their head when they start thinking about the subject...

...and not this guy right here...

Unfortunately, this guy is the pirate you need to be worried about these days if you're trolling around the Northeast Coast of Africa in the Gulf of Aden region...the Somalia pirate. I have stopped even remotely from feeling sorry for these ass wipes and their plight to feed their families and such and being forced to go from being peaceful fishermen into ruthless pirates to make a living...blah..blah...blah. Peaceful fishermen don't carry AK's and RPG's and don't kill 4 defenseless hostagess either!

Now these bastards have a Dutch family, including children, in their clutches and are threatening to kill them if any attempt on freeing them is made. The bastards have some 600 hostages in total from nations across the world in captivity trying to ransom them. I am sure that at least some of the money being made in this racket is going to extremest groups operating in the area. This crap needs to stop..

First off people STOP TRAVELING IN THE AREA!! Unless your name is Casey Ryback and you used to serve on the USS Missouri, you are probably not skilled enough to take care of yourself and your family from a gang of ruthless pirates. Just don't even get close to the area.

"I'm just a cook..."

Secondly, for those people whose job it is to sail in these waters in the name of commerce..we need to put the MARINE back in Merchant Marine. Get armed people..I know there is all this crap about arming merchant ships and stuff...but hell...is it worth it to argue semantics over getting shot?!!? If not you, get some armed guards that you hire to protect yourselves...I would bet a crew served automatic weapon or some flaming treats tossed from a deck onto pirates in smaller crafts below would be very effective...

Lastly, as a nation and part of a world economy we can't let this crap go on! Patrolling the gulf and interdicting AFTER a seizure has taken place is only a reactionary response. We need to get proactive...lets go bomb some pirate ports in Somalia. Cut the head off of the serpent. I am sure some foreign nations would go in with us on this...matter of fact lets see what the comrades from Mother Russia think about pirates...

Yeah, thats right...a guy is shot and they just stand there pumping him for info instead of administering aid like us Americans will do....you know, they may be former(?) communist thugs...but man, sometimes you just can't argue with methods like these.

Seriously, I am not trying to make light of the tragedies of those lost and killed by these scumbags, nor am I trying to make light of the plight of the Somali people..many of whom have settled here in Central Ohio (and one who thought it would be good idea to try and blow up one of our malls too I guess). But again, this crap has gone too far...in days gone by they would hang pirates from gallows at the entrance to ports as a warning to all others to stay away...a fleet of burning pirate ships with the bodies of their former crew floating in the burning water becoming shark bait might just be the message we need to send..

lastly, from my old friend Kevin from high school (he's the guy sitting next to me in the pic from my Khadafi post) comes this little gem of humor....so sad its only satire and not reality..I've been wanting to take the family on a cruise for a while...

Here’s an exciting opportunity for the vacation traveler who wants something a little different…



L u x u r y C r u i s e L i n e s

Now Accepting Reservations! Additional cruise information available below.

To The Point Cruise Lines is excited to offer the ultimate adventure cruise,
along the pirate-infested coast of Somalia

Ultimate Adventure Cruise Route

Rates and Availability



Ship Name

Starting Price



Sun Splendor



Fully Booked

Grand Voyage



Reservations Available

Horizons IV



Reservations Available

Horizons III



Fully Booked

Grand Voyage II



Fully Booked

Grand Voyage III



Reservations Available

Coastal Paradise



Reservations Available

Coastal Paradise II



Reservations Available

Peril Princess



Fully Booked

Peril Princess II



Reservations Available

We board our luxury cruise ships in Djibouti on the Gulf of Aden near the entrance to the Red Sea,
and disembark in Mombasa Kenya , seven adrenaline-charged days later.
Reservations start at only $5,200 per-person (double occupancy, inside room)
and $6,900 (verandah complete with bench rest).


You'll relax like never before!

That's because you are welcome to bring
your own arsenal with you.
If you don't have your own weapons, you can rent them from our onboard Master Gunsmith.

Enjoy reloading parties every afternoon,
with skeet and marksmanship competitions every night!

But the best fun of all, of course, is...

...Pirate Target Practice!


The object of our cruise is to sail up and down the Somali Coast waiting to get hijacked by pirates!

Weapons rentals:

Weapon Selection



AK-47 Light Assaultcid:DB13D60846FB44149F52747CF1F6C3C2@MikePC

Per Day

On a budget? Rent a full-auto scope-mounted AK-47 for only $9/day
with 7.62 ball ammo at $12 per 100 rounds:

M-16 Full Automaticcid:4942D4BA61BA41FDA3EEAA9F4769F274@MikePC

Per Day

Rent a full auto M-16 for only $25/day with ammo
attractively priced at $16 per 100 rounds of 5.56 armor-piercing:

Barrett M-107 50 Calibercid:33CB8454D67A448B8564F6A05E66C40D@MikePC

Per Day

Hello! Nothing gets a pirate's attention like a Barrett M-107 50-cal rifle; only $59/day with 25 rounds of armor-piercing ammo
affordably priced at only $29.95.

RPG Launchercid:2E6D2083BDA54923BE1E916F67CB588A@MikePC

Per Day

Want to make a real impact? Rent an RPG for only $175/day
with three fragmentation rounds included!
A true favorite among pirates, rent one today and show you care!

Customer Testimonials


"Six attacks in 4 days were more than I expected. I bagged three pirates, my wife nailed two,
and my 12-year old son sank two boats with the mini-gun.
This wonderful cruise was fun for the whole family"
-- Fred D., Cincinnati , OH

"Pirates 0, Passengers 32! Well worth the trip! Can't recommend it highly enough!" -- Ben L., Bethesda , MD

Twin mounted mini-guns are available for rental
at only $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire!


Additional Cruise Line Services

  • Need a spotter? Our professional crew members can double as spotters for only $30/hour (spotting scope included, but gratuities are not).
  • Also included: Free complimentary night vision equipment --and throughout the night, coffee, pastries and snacks are always available on the main deck from 7pm until 6am.
  • Our deluxe package comes complete with gourmet meals and all rooms offer a mini-bar.


We guarantee you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or you'll receive an instant $1,000 refund upon arrival in Mombasa .

How can we make that guarantee? We operate at 5 knots just beyond 12 nautical miles off the coast of Somalia, thus in international waters where pirates have no rights whatever.

In fact, we make three passes through the area's most treacherous waters to ensure maximum visibility by Somali mother ships.

We repeat this for five days, making three complete passes past the entire Somali Coast...At night, the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot every five minutes, with loud disco music directionally beamed shore side to attract maximum attention.


Cabin space is limited so you need to respond quickly. Reserve your package before Aug 31st and get a great bonus--
100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the caliber of your choice! So sign up for the Ultimate Somali Coast Adventure Cruise now!



Reserve Now -and be automatically entered to win a 5 minute time slot on the Captain's own Twin Browning 50 Caliber M2HB installation!

"I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in ' Nam . Don't worry about getting shot by pirates...
they never even got close to the ship with the crap they shoot and their lousy aim...
Come on board and bag your own clutch of genuine Somali pirates!"

-- Mike W., Savannah , GA


Anonymous said...



Huey said...

wow...just thinking..the fact that this actually made it to snopes is pretty funny in itself!

Anonymous said...

Man where do I sign up for this trip??? Sounds like the ultimate "Hogans Alley" experiance.

Anonymous said...

Man where do I sign up for that trip??? Sounds like the ultimate "Hogens Alley" experiance to me!!

apirateslifeforme said...

You know if it werent for us pirates money would not circulate as well as it does (and obviously even now its not as good as it was...theres not many of us working very hard anymore) and what about the other pirates you failed to mention? the ones that steal from your internet, they download thousand dollar software without paying a dime, they get free hardware delivered to their doorstep without setting foot into the seas...those internet nerds are becoming better pirates than us...and it makes me sad...but on another note, ive got some good dollars on my hands